Woobly Poopy Foobles
by ThatDamnOctagonRod
Summary: Woobly poopy foobles? What in the heck are those? Zidane is Christmas shopping for Dagger and has a problem finding what she wants...


1 Woobly Poopy Foobles  
  
By ThatDamnOctagonRod  
  
  
  
A/N: What in the hell are "Woobly Poopy Foobles," you ask? You don't know? God, well now I'm offended! Anyway, read on to find out just what the hell "Woobly Poopy Foobles" are.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the shit in this fanfic except for the Woobly Poopy Foobles and the other shit that isn't in the game, all the other junk is owned by Sakaguchi and Squaresoft. God I hate them.  
  
  
  
Our hero, Zidane, is walking down the streets of Alexandria with Dagger's Christmas list in hand. While looking for the first shop, he stops and reads the list over:  
  
4,500,000 Gil Orange Jumpsuit (Zidane: Unholy shit! That's a shit load of money!)  
  
3700 karat gold necklace with large diamond (How the hell does she expect me to afford this shit!?)  
  
Expensive Hair Accessories (Dammit! I can't afford havin' a queen as a girlfriend!)  
  
Vibrator (Uhhh.)  
  
Woobly Poopy Foobles (Woobly shitty what the hell? Damn, they must be new.)  
  
Zidane: Well now, this should be damn good fun.  
  
So Zidane walks along the shops and bumps into Vivi.  
  
Vivi: Zidane! Wassup bro?  
  
Zidane: Vivi, you high again?  
  
Vivi: No way bro! I ain't high on crack again!  
  
Zidane: Damn, you must be on the good shit.  
  
Vivi: Whatever man. You shoppin' for Dagger's Christmas shit?  
  
Zidane: Yea, how'd you guess? ::Zidane looks down at the bag of "white powdery stuff:: Looks like you been shoppin' too.  
  
Vivi: What the heck bro? I ain't been buying illegal crack again!  
  
Zidane: Whatever, look, do you know what the hell these damn "Woobly Poopy Foobles" are?  
  
Vivi: Woobly shitty what the hell? Oh, those, yea, the guy I didn't buy crack from had one.  
  
Zidane: Do you know where I can find one of these damn thingies?  
  
Vivi: Yea, over there by the guy who don't sell crack. ::Vivi points a few blocks down to the east::  
  
Zidane: Thanks bro. ::Zidane yells back to Vivi as he runs toward the store:: I owe you!  
  
::Vivi yells back:: If you want to pay me back, get me some "good shit" from the guy by the store for Christmas!  
  
So Zidane ran toward the shop but on the way he saw Orange Jumpsuits and Shit, a new store that carried those oh-so-expensive orange jumpsuits, so he decided to stop in.  
  
Zidane: You guys got any of those damn 4,500,000 Gil Orange Jumpsuits that the queen loves?  
  
Shopkeeper: It depends, do you have the money to buy one?  
  
::Zidane gets pissed off:: Why the hell do you think I'd come into this damn building and say I want to buy one of your shitty jumpsuits without the damn money!?  
  
::The Shopkeeper, obviously scared, gets up, grabs one off the shelf, and pays for it himself:: T-t-there y-you are s-s-sir.  
  
Zidane: Merry shitin' Christmas! ::Shopkeeper walks away mumbling something about "damn job", "sendin' kids to college", and "crazy teenagers"::  
  
Zidane leaves the store and continues up the street for the shop that sells Woobly Poopy Foobles, but can't find it.  
  
Zidane: Damn Dagger and her damn crazy presents. ::Notices old man standing a few feet away and decides to ask him about the shop::  
  
Old Man: Woobly shitty what the hell? Oh, those, yea, in that shop behind me with the big sign.  
  
::Sure enough, Zidane looks up and sees a huge sign lit up with huge neon lights that says "We have all kinds of Foobles!":: Damn old man, damn store, I sure as hell better get a damn good present for all this shit I'm goin' through.  
  
::Zidane enters and asks the Shopkeeper if he has Woobly Poopy Foobles::  
  
Shopkeeper: Sorry young man, the last one was bought about ten minutes ago.  
  
Zidane: Dammit! Shit! Dammit! Shit! Dammit! Shit!  
  
Shopkeeper: Have a good Christmas young man.  
  
Zidane: I'll show you a good Christmas ::Flips off the shopkeeper and storms out::  
  
Shopkeeper: Nice boy, I hope we see more of him.  
  
So, obviously pissed off, Zidane flies to Treno and heads straight for the only store that would ever carry Woobly Poopy Foobles, he walks in, and asks about them.  
  
Shopkeeper: Woobly shitty what the hell?  
  
Zidane: Nevermind.  
  
So Zidane checks every shop in the world sans the Mogshop in Ipsen's Castle because that place only carries weak-as-hell weapons and shit. And at each shop, he is greeted with either "Sorry, we're out" or "Woobly shitty what the hell?". He gets so pissed off that he's like a middle-aged math teacher in PMS, but times 1000. He finally decides to check that last Mogshop.  
  
Moogle (I'm too lazy to look up its name): Sure! We have tons of those!  
  
Zidane: Give.now.or.die.  
  
::Moogle, scared:: Here you are sir! Now please leave, you don't help attract customers.  
  
Zidane: What the hell! Dammit stupid moogle, haven't you noticed you don't have any damn customers! ::And with that, he leaves and flies back to Alexandria::  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Christmas Day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Dagger: Wow, a Woobly Poopy Fooble! Who gave me this?  
  
Zidane: It's from.  
  
::Steiner cuts off Zidane:: I bought it for you, your majesty! It was the last one left in Alexandria!  
  
::Now, of course, Zidane, after going through all that shit, snaps and rips off Steiner's balls right there and then::  
  
::Steiner, in extreme pain:: Ho? What's all this? (His famous line)  
  
And thus, Zidane ran off into the horizon not to be seen for fifty years. And the people still tell the story of the mysterious old man who's walking stick had rotting testicles hanging from it.  
  
  
  
A/N: This was my second fanfic. I got the idea from reading a FF8 fanfic where Rinoa got rabies and said something similar to "Woobly Poopy Foobles" and I just got this story in my head. Please review so I feel good about myself. 


End file.
